“Whoever believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain the bonds of kinship.”
— Bukhari
Guest author:
A Muslim is required to be kind even to his non-Muslim relatives. Similarly he is required to be kind to even those relatives who are harsh to him.
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By MARK PANGARUNGAN, former Diplomat at Department of Foreign Affairs (DFA)
A YOUNG man went to attend the weekly Hadith lecture of Sayyidna Abu Huraira but stopped when he heard him saying, “If anyone sitting here has severed any ties of kinship (qata-ur-rahim), he should leave.”
He recalled that he had not been on speaking terms with his aunt living in the same town. The young man quietly left the gathering and went straight to his aunt’s house and asked for forgiveness for his past behavior and sought rapprochement. When the aunt inquired about the reason for this change of heart, he narrated the incident. She accepted the apology but asked him to inquire from Abu Huraira the reason for this unusual statement.
Don’t break the Covenant
Why did Abu Huraira leave all the other major sins and focus only on this? What was so special about ties of kinship? Sayyidna Abu Huraira replied that he had heard from the Prophet (peace be upon him) that:
“Our deeds were presented to Allah every Thursday night and anyone who has severed family ties has all his good deeds rejected.”
Hence, Abu Huraira did not want any such person sitting in his gathering, which was held on the same night, for fear that it could deprive the entire gathering of blessings.
Another Hadith explains further the reason for this fear: “Allah’s mercy will not descend on people among whom there is one who severs ties of kinship.” (Baihaqi, Shuab Al-Iman)
Maintaining the bonds of kinship (silatur-rahim) indeed enjoys extraordinary importance in Islam. Conversely, severing the ties (qata-ur-rahim) is very high on the list of enormities. On two occasions, Allah cursed the one severing family ties:
“And those who break the covenant of Allah, after its ratification, and sever that which Allah has commanded to be joined (i.e. they sever the bond of kinship and are not good to their relatives) and work mischief in the land, on them is the curse, and for them is the unhappy home (i.e. Hell)” (Qur’an, 13:25)
Allah also says: “So would you perhaps, if you turned away, cause corruption on earth and sever your [ties of] relationship? Would ye then, if ye were given the command, work corruption in the land and sever your ties of kinship? (Qur’an, 47:22-23)
“A cursed person is one who is deprived of the mercy of Allah. It is an indication of this deprivation that this sin is punished in this world as well as in the Hereafter. “ There is no sin more deserving of having punishment meted out by Allah to its perpetrator in advance in this world along with what He stores up for him in the next world than oppression and severing ties of family.” (Tirmidhi)
Silatur-rahim has been defined as politeness, kind treatment, and concern
Aishah (May Allah be pleased with her) reported:
“The Messenger of Allah (peace be upon him) said, “The bond of relationship is suspending from the Throne, and says:
“He who keeps good relations with me, Allah will keep connection with him, but whosoever severs relations with me, Allah will sever connection with him’.”
Silatur-rahim has been defined as politeness, kind treatment, and concern for all one’s relatives even if distantly related, corrupt, non-Muslim, or unappreciative. While nearly every religion has emphasized good family relations, Islam has taken it to unprecedented heights. It is a duty to be discharged without an eye for reciprocity.
A Muslim is required to be kind even to his non-Muslim relatives. Similarly he is required to be kind to even those relatives who are harsh to him.
Islam came to set all our relationships right. This includes our relations with Allah as well as with other human beings. Unfortunately, these teachings do not seem to work now as the present young generations are more commonly focused to backbite, cheat, and hurt our relatives and continue the spiral of hurt and humiliation as they respond. And we just abandon those of our relatives who are economically unfortunate.
There are three reasons for this sad situation:
First, is the widespread ignorance about Islamic teachings in this regard.
Second, is the rampant materialism. While materialism hurts all aspects of our life, it is especially damaging to family ties for they require sacrifice of time, money and personal comfort.
The third reason has to do with recent history. It is a “gift” of the transformation of Muslim societies under colonialism and Industrial Revolution which came at a time when Muslim civilization was in the doldrums. Industrial Revolution was in the Golden Age of Muslim Spain and progressed at a time of Muslim decline. This explains the form it took and the devastation it caused to the family life and disrupted human relations. Poet Iqbal pointed to this when he said in his famous line:
“The rule of machines is death for the heart. Machine tools crush compassion. Relations between husband and wife, between parents and children, between workers and managers, between neighbors, between relatives, in other words between all segments of society were dealt a devastating blow.”
The rule of machines reminded me of the statement of the late and first President of the Mindanao State University (MSU) Dr. Antonio Isidro who strongly objected to the proposal to remove some English/literature subjects of the Engineering Curriculum arguing as follows: “If we allow the non-inclusion of English literature subjects in our Engineering Curriculum, what kind of young generations do we produce? Will they approach love mechanically? How can they appreciate life and environment?” Hence, the retention of English/literature subjects!
English literature opens up a world of inspiration and creativity
Literature is a portal into other people. It allows us to break down the doors of our culture, identity, and personal past. It brings us into close connection with others — allowing us to see all the horror, honor, and awe lurking in the human experience.
Studying English literature opens up a world of inspiration and creativity, while also developing skills that are essential for today’s global environment. It is a chance to discover how literature makes sense of the world through stories, poems, novels and plays.
To quote one example, television is rapidly destroying what was left of human relations, cutting off even members of the same family from each other and engulfing everyone within his or her own pleasure. It is just one, but probably the most subversive and intrusive tool of our so called global village is the creation of global village with distant neighbors without love and kinship.
I am happy I was blessed with support from my father The Sultan who wanted me to take up English literature as my college degree. He inspired me by saying:
“All former famous Philippine Presidents were literature graduates and I want you to be like them so that when you become a lawyer you will understand the feelings of your poor clients and be kind to needy people. I want you my son to value the Islamic importance of kindness and love to your relatives. To treasure them and welcome them with open arms.” (✓)
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Featured image of Islamic calligraphy credit and thanks to IslamicCity.org.